Im sure its no surprise to you that God is still working on me to break down my idols- specifically the idol of health. I was challenged the other day during our devo time to really confess my health idol to the Lord and to ask Him to break it down. Now, I have thought about confessing this to the Lord over the past few weeks but never did, because in my mind I thought "if I confess this idol and I ask God to crush it, then God is going to test to see if my confession is true by stripping more of my health away from me and making me more sick.". So in the end I would never confess it. During our devo time Dave really challenged me to rethink... He asked me to imagine myself on the titanic (the "unsinkable" ship), and the ship is sinking. He asked me if while knowing that the ship was sinking if I would chose to stay on the ship or get into a life boat. The answer was obvious- we all know the story of The Titanic- I would get into the life boat. Dave then told me that the idol of health that I've been clinging to and trusting in was the sinking Titanic, and that by not confessing it to the Lord I was going to die on that ship. He challenged me to get into the life boat- even if it seemed scary- by confessing my health idol to the Lord, because only then would I be able to find contentment and have Jesus be my most valued treasure. I'm realizing that I can't have two most valued treasures... health+Jesus can't both be #1.
Anyway, Daves challenge was on Friday. To be honest, I still wasn't ready to confess. But last night while we were driving home from SanFransisco, for some reason it seemed like the right time. I chatted with the Lord about my health idol, and told Him I was sorry for placing such a high value on it. I told him that I was sorry for trusting so much in my own ability to keep myself healthy by eating healthy-homemade-never-from-a-can-or-box-food and taking herbal supplements/vitamins. And I told him that it was hard for me to not feel entitled to health, especially since I never eat fast food- ever. Let me tell you something... even though I confessed that to God, there was still this part of me that was terrified that because I confessed that God was going to test me by stripping more of my health from me. And just because I'm being honest... I will tell you that even as I write this I'm still afraid that He will do that.
So Im just praying that as God crushes this health idol that I've placed on the throne of my heart, that the Holy Spirit would come and open the eyes of my heart to see the beauty, love, and all surpassing value of Jesus... so that nothing else- even health- doesn't even begin to compare to Him and His glory.
I've been reading thru the Bible for the past year, (maybe year and a half) and I'm only in Isaiah. Anyway, here is parts of a passage that I read this morning. Funny how the Lord knows what we need to hear from Him, huh?
" Because you despise this word and trust in oppression and perverseness and rely on them, therefore this iniquity shall be to you like a breach in a high wall, bulging out, and about to collapse, whose breaking comes suddenly, in an instant...
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.' But you were unwilling, and you said, 'no! we will flee upon horses'....
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him. For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as He hears it, He answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversiry and the water of afflicition, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, 'Be gone!' "
Isaiah 30:12, 13, 15,18-22