Sunday, August 16, 2009

my thorn



I stayed home from church today, because I wasn't feeling well, so I spent some time thinking and praying. For some years now, a common struggle of mine has been fear. I'm in a constant state of fear it seems. I was thinking today about how I've let my fears just reign in my life... its like I'm in bondage to them, ya know? My fears keep me from living a full and free life in Christ. I am SO tired of it... not just mentally, but physically- my neck is always sore, and I'm always getting headaches. I'm struggling with knowing how to deal with my fears. I know that I need to give my fears to God, and believe me I try to. I'm just at a loss.... is there something that I'm missing? Why is this thorn not going away? Its been years that I've struggled with this, and I don't feel like it ever gets any better. Anyway... this is a real struggle for me, and I just needed you to know that... whoever you are that reads my random thoughts.

4 comments:

Pips Ebersole said...

Love you!

Sarah Fields said...

Brought a tear to my eye. I can very much relate. I, too, have been in the bondage of fear and it has caused me to question my own faith. If I say I trust God, how can my days (and especially nights) be controlled by these fears? My body is also affected..I can just feel the stress and fear in my stomach almost always. Jessica, thank you for posting this. There is something comforting and motivating to know when you're not alone. I'll be praying for you that you would find your peace and be comforted knowing that God has you and your family in His hands with a perfect plan made just for you. :)

Deanna said...

Thanks for sharing your feelings, Jessica. You are steadfast and a servant to others...two very admirable, Christ-like qualities, and I appreciate you very much. Take comfort in knowing that the work continues; that we are ever being shaped, molded and conformed.

Sharon said...

I pray for you daily my sweet daughter. I Love you!

Love

Mom