Thursday, August 20, 2009
wintertime vacation and a possible break thru
The word is out! We are going on vacation in December for a few days with some friends, and I'm SO stinkin' excited I can barely contain myself!
On another note, last night (as one of my friends explained it) I erupted (which is what you do when you keep all your emotions in and then all the sudden you just erupt with tears and words...kinda like a volcano). Anyway... it was a good cry indeed. Even after she left my house, the tears were still coming as I chatted to my husband about all that was on my heart. I've come to the conclusion that so many times in my life when it comes to fear/anxiety I "give it to God" and then I sit there watching and waiting for it to change. And then while I'm watching and waiting for it to change, I inevitably pick it back up and throw it back over my shoulder because I don't see God doing anything with it. I've done that for so long now, that now the fear/anxiety just rules my life- every single part of it... even simple tasks that should be no big deal. My husband was sharing with me about how many times in lifes circumstances we give the devil and the demonic too much credit, but more often than not we just ignore it. There are spiritual battles going on all around us. After my eruption last night night, I'm sure that this struggle with fear/anxiety is just that. The demonic like that I feel trapped and chained to my fear/anxiety, they like that I feel paranoid about everything, they like that I feel like an idiot, they like that the fear effects every aspect of my life (including trying to sleep at night), they like that the lack of sleep is effecting my body. I'm so sick of it. So starting today I'm going to be engaging in a battle, trusting that God will provide me with all the appropriate armor. Trusting that when I'm weary and ready to give up, that the LORD will be there to give me the courage to keep going... to keep fighting, through the power of His Holy Spirit. 'God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.' (2Tim1:7)
If God is for me, who then can be against me?!
I'm sick of being shackled to this sin, and I want to be free!
LORD, Let Thy goodness, like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee. Amen.